Cancer Center, Containment, and the "C" Word

Andy and I spent ALL day, once again  (this is 3/7 days this week), at Baylor's Charles A. Sammons Cancer Center. These days are full of tests, information, test results, information, waiting, information...You get the picture.  This center is becoming all to familiar to us......sigh.  It will eventually become my home away from home......double sigh.  For those that have never been to a cancer center let me tell you a little about it.  (I too had never been and was thankful that I hadn't!)  It's very beautiful, super clean, people are overly friendly, bathrooms are gorgeous (just in case you wondered...... "You can't trust a facility with an ugly/nasty restroom"......Yes, those are words to live by. It's like an Amy Marcontell life mantra;), nice cafe, valet offered, library, coffee bar, fancy artwork, beautiful offices, state of the art equipment, and some of the most brilliant minds in this nation.That's the part I like love! 
Then there is the humbling, sad, and "slap you back into reality" part.  I look around and I see many sick, beautifully bald, barely able to move people.  People there with their spouses and/or families.  People there by themselves.  I wonder...what separates me from them.  Several rounds of chemo??? Different type(s) of cancer???  A more invasive cancer???   Then I think...not much separates us.  1) We are in a cancer center, so we have that common bond of cancer......sigh  2) 95% of us are carrying around that stupid big envelope (full of our xrays/ultrasound pics) and our expandable file folder full of reports, ins docs, receipts, etc (which mine is super cute by the way)  If you are having a bad day or think you are having a bad day, I invite you to come along to my next Dr.'s appt.  It's such a humbling experience that puts life's little hiccups in much perspective!
We walked into Dr. Sally Knox's (my surgical oncologist) office.  However, this time I felt like a pro...this was my 3rd time and I wasn't near as anxious as I had been before. As we waited to see the Dr., I got angry for the 2nd time since I was told. (The 1st time is entirely saved for another post.) I looked around the office.  Each and every seat was taken.  These women were in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's. All of different races...most spoke English, some did not.  I don't care what research says, I was doing my own research, and my research came to this conclusion: Breast cancer doesn't care how old you are or what color your skin is, nor does it care if you speak English!  It doesn't discriminate.  This made me angry......however, it slowly turned to sadness because I wondered if they were in remission, or if they were about to be told they had cancer, or maybe if they were at the final stage of their life......It's truly almost to much to think about.

Finally got back to see Dr. Knox and asked if we could record the visit.  I have learned that so much information and medical terminology is thrown at you during visits so recording is very important. Also important, to have another set of ears with me at all times.  I tend to tune out all the rest of the information after something "bad" has come out of the Dr's mouth.

Here is the downlow on my cancer:  I have High Grade Ductal Carcinoma in Situ with Several Foci Suspicious for Microinvastion. (STOP GOOGLING IT!! That's the 1st rule. Don't break it or I will stop putting my medical terms on the blog;)   I had only researched the ductal carcinoma in situ part, so the rest sent me into a tailspin.  (Thus the reason to record dr visits.....)  To make a long story short the cancer might have broken out of the duct, BUT we won't know for sure until I meet with the medical oncologist and path results are back from the surgery. (about 2 weeks after the surgery)  Which brought up the "c" word...not cancer, I can handle that, the other "c" word.  Chemotherapy......insert tears here.......There is a possibility I might have to have chemo. However, I don't want to worry or talk about that AND I'm claiming it's contained!

My surgery is scheduled for Jan. 21st.  I've decide on a double mastectomy with reconstruction...big reconstruction;) Bahahaha!!!   Hey, I'm going to get something good out of this right? 

Worst part of the day was when we were leaving and taking care of a few insurance papers, you could hear a lady crying in one of the rooms.  Breaks.My.Heart.  I've been thinking of her all day long.  Wondering what she was told. Wondering how she is doing tonight. Wondering if she believes in the Ultimate Physician.  I can go without hearing that E.V.E.R again...

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young  Jan. 9th (Words from the book are italicized, my words are not.)

I am with you and for you. Thank you sweet Savior.  I know you are, you have shown me over and over the past 7 days.

My sovereignty is in the timing of events.  You have orchestrated each and every event, timed perfectly!  Glory, Glory, Glory!

Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence. Cancer patients/survivors call the cancer road their "journey."   I'm trying really hard to understand the slow down part, but all I want to do is speed this "journey" up. Let's just get to the point that I'm healed!  Forgive me Lord.  I've felt your presence more than I have ever felt in my life.  It is so comforting...

Prayer Requests:
That the cancer is contained.
My sweet Grayson...
The lady who was crying when we left. 

Hugs to all,
Amy