"Honey, Here's Your Cup of Cancer"

In my attempt to get out of bed this morning and face the day, I asked Andy if he wanted me to fix a pot of coffee.  You see, we love our new  "grown up phase" of drinking coffee on cold yucky winter mornings.  My Mother in Law, Susan, got us a "grown up" coffee maker and also orders us the most yummiest coffee called "Jamaican Me Crazy." (Yes, I'm spoiled and I love it!  "To be spoiled is to be loved".....another Amy Marcontell life mantra to live by...just like the dirty bathroom mantra noted in the previous post;) Back to the coffee, I love everything about the coffee maker and the coffee.  Something about drinking the coffee out of a mug and not slurping my usual Sonic large Diet Coke out of a straw makes me feel grown up and borderline fancy. Don't get me wrong I L.O.V.E my Sonic Diet Cokes. Those trips to Sonic for a coke is just "what I do."  I can thank my mom and Frederick girls Brandi, Amy, Shannon, Brooke, Dara, and Kay for that!  Don't get me started on Frederick, I can write an entirely different blog on growing up in Frederick.  I have more Frederick stories than Rose from Golden Girls has about St. Olaf. Sorry, I digress (I think I suffer from Blog ADD)  Back to the coffee.....so I made the pot of coffee looked at Andy and said, "Honey, here's your cup of cancer!"   S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y!   Did I just offer my husband a cup of cancer?!?!?  Yep, I sure did.

This, my friends, is how cancer can not only invade you physically but also mentally.  Cancer is this disgusting raging rapidly growing filth in the body, that I on my own I can't do one darn thing about.  Left alone without healing scripture, prayer, dr's and treatment this filth will eventually take over my body and take me from this Earth. However, it is also this raging screaming negative thought(s) pattern that over and over SO wants to invade my mind.  This is how it works: Wake up, "I have cancer. I don't want to get out of bed and face the day."  Look at my kids, "Will I leave them motherless?" Being around people,"Who cares about your petty problems, I have cancer"  Working on homework, "Grayson's a smart boy. He can do it on his own. I have cancer"  Trying to plan a bday party for my son, "Just book it and pay. I'm sure I will be too sore and in pain to even enjoy it."  Thinking about cooking dinner, "Why?  I'm not hungry nor do I have the energy, because I have cancer.Then when I go to bed the endless crying begins.   Left alone without healing scripture, prayer, and treatment this filth can AND will eventually take over my mind and spiritually kill me!

To me, Satan is like a cancer.  If allowed he can spread to mind, heart, and soul.  Left untreated he takes over like cancer.   I physically may have cancer, but I also suffered  suffer from the Satan cancer and battle it each and every day!  Through this journey not only am I praying to be physically healed but spiritually healed from  ALL cancer. So you see, we (you and me) are not that different. We all have some sort of cancer...I'm just on the fast track path of finding out what mine is...

These are my inner most thoughts.  Agree or not.... This is my therapy, my journey. I'm nowhere near perfect, and sure have NOT been perfect in my life. (That is probably the most understated sentence of this entire blog!)  I am a sin battling woman of faith that refuses to allow Satan to take over like a cancer.  I have enough of that cancer crap (Yep, I just said crap. Sorry mom:) in me.

So mentally the war is on.  No more offering cups of cancer in my house, only cups of  Jamaican Me Crazy! 

~Cause in my house, crazy is a lot better than cancer!

Hugs to all,
Amy